by Tony Goudie
My family and I live in a rural area and so we are quite used to seeing wildlife. I remember sitting in the garden one day and hearing the usual cry from a pheasant from the small wood behind me. I took little notice except to be dimly aware that following the sound there was no usual rapid ruffling of the wings as it secured its territory. The pheasant carried on crying for longer than normal, but my mind was elsewhere.
Sadly, I found the bird dead the following morning. It had caught its feet in a cleft in the tree and was swinging stone cold upside down, hence the crying. If only I had known its plight…I would probably have been able to save its life. Since then I’ve been more vigilant and sensitive to wildlife.
So when the latest Plain Truth (Summer 2011) arrived one morning the article One for sorrow, two for joy by Liz Dixon about superstition – and showing a photo of two very splendid looking magpies – was not only interesting, but brought back to mind my recent encounter of the feathered kind.
We have a wood burner in our lounge, and that same day I had just dropped off for a snooze when a long scratching, slithering sound from up the chimney that came nearer startled me. When I had figured out that it wasn’t part of my dreams, I discovered the obvious: a bird had slipped on the chimney pot and dropped in for an uninvited and certainly unintended visit.
So what to do? My mind went back to the poor pheasant.
Inverting the saying ‘What goes up has to come down’ came to mind. But there seemed no possibility at all of extracting this feathered friend any further downwards, because a circular metal flap that regulates the draw of the burner was firmly blocking any further drop – even when rotated to its vertical position. Apparently back up was the only option.
The RSPCA (yes, we did ring them) suggested a brush on a pole might encourage a vertical exit. However, not having the suggested equipment necessary, it would have taken a few days to bring in a chimney sweep by which time, bye-bye birdie.
Its fate in my hands
So, what to do? It seemed the fate of our feathered intruder was down to me. I carefully manoeuvred my head inside the burner and shone the torch up. It wasn’t difficult to identify what type of bird had got stuck in our chimney. And this time it was ‘one for sorrow’. A plump magpie looked down, obviously by now very agitated (your imagination will tell you how I knew).
My family and I all felt that every option had been considered and closed off before we even thought about it, so Magpie would have to perch on the flap and decline and die in sooty darkness.
That would make our lounge a depressing place to use, what with the pitiful and weakening scratching that couldn’t be ignored and couldn’t be avoided.
The day passed and the RSPCA had no additional ideas. With no local chimney sweep to call on, our magpie was well and truly stuck. Even the thought of shutting the flap to cut off the oxygen to speed up the demise of our feathered friend certainly wouldn’t work. (We even thought about a lethal injection or a shot to put it out of its misery but we soon dismissed that idea.)
‘OK Goudie,’ I said to myself, ‘when all else fails, try prayer…’
First response?
Now, this isn’t a very good recommendation for a minister to think this way is it? Should it not have been my first response? Well, yes it should have been.
‘It won’t work,’ I said to myself, ‘we’ve tried everything. Bird can’t go up and bird can’t come down. It’s too fat and it’s also too scared to grab. We’ve thought of all the options’ –except of course, prayer!
Now nobody really wants to test God when the situation is impossible, but I knelt down and asked for help: ‘Compassion must lead to action’ I thought. The poor old magpie had been stuck up our chimney for 12 hours – and would by now be suffering.
Walking by sight, I had no faith at all that anything was possible, except perhaps asking for a speedier death than usual (which would have been in a few days’ time at the least).
But scriptures started to come to mind as they do when we fix our attention on the Bible: ‘God sees sparrows fall. None fall to the ground (or down a chimney) without God knowing.1 (OK, magpies are a little larger than sparrows, but God takes care of all his creation.)
‘Five sparrows are sold for two farthings and not one of them is forgotten before God.’2 Other quotations arrived in my mind: ‘A bird in the hand...’ (Is worth one down the chimney?). ‘Birds of a feather...’ (This little fella sure needed to flock together once more.) And I’m sure you can think of some more quotes – such as the title to this little piece...
I picked up a flexible metal stick with a small grab on the end that I had once bought for a long-forgotten need but had never used. I upended myself once more with my head wedged inside the wood burner and carefully looked up.
Magpie looked at me. I looked at Magpie. Nope, quite impossible. But hadn’t I just prayed? But the bird had retreated further up the flue and further up out of my reach. ‘Sorry Lord’ I said to myself, not wishing to either be disappointed or doubt the impossible.
(Now I appreciate you’re ahead of me, as you well know what is going to happen, but please be patient and let me tell it in my own breathless way.)
After prayer…action!
‘OK Goudie,’ I said to myself, ‘stretch up as far as you can, and poke.’ So I poked. The magpie slithered down about a foot. I quickly opened the prong grab from my end and caught the bird’s right leg. (I hoped that perhaps that part of a bird’s body didn’t feel too much pain? Less pain than the alternative, however.) The end clip held, Magpie struggled and was in a flap. Before I knew it he/she was out, slipping down one side of the now vertical metal flap and finally in my grip.
(Although birds look quite plump it’s only the feathers that give them that bigger appearance.) I held my feathered friend and we eyed each other up.
I confess I had some tears. I’m not quite sure why but probably from a combination of events:
And so on, and so on.
Wow, now I really did feel guilty about doubting what prayer can do. Yes I know there is such a thing as coincidence (but surely the arm of coincidence is not that long?).
We opened the window and released our magpie, the white bib dulled with soot. It fled the scene without so much as looking over its wing, and quickly lodged in the willow opposite.
‘Don’t catch your feet in a branch’ I cried!
So what are some of the lessons I have learned from this incident?
Perhaps it’s one for joy now, not two?
(Oh – and do put a mesh over that chimney pot...)
Tail Feather:
I doubt that The Plain Truth has ever featured a picture of a magpie in all its decades of publication, and never in all my puff has a magpie paid us such a visit.
Yet both happened on the very same day.
Just coincidence – of course?
Sources: RSPB; BBC; www.wildanimalsonline.com/birds/common magpie.php
1. Matthew 10:29
2. Luke 12:6
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