Are you a writer waiting for your first break? Submit a 600-word article, typed, double-spaced and ideally as a Word attachment, to ptruth@netcomuk.co.uk. Writing tutor Fiona Veitch Smith will choose the most promising ones. For free writing advice see her website www.thecraftywriter.com
Fiona’s Critique
When I first read this article I was struck by its good structure. A lot of new writers struggle to create a balanced beginning, middle and end that helps the reader navigate easily through the article. But Evelyn gets straight into the story and only spends three sentences on the set-up. This is the bit that most inexperienced writers get wrong: spending too much time setting up their apple cart. Other writers have the opposite problem and launch into the article without first allowing the reader to gather their bearings. Something that did need a bit of work, however, was that in the original article Evelyn’s references to God were too subtle and as there was no overt reference to her faith it could easily have slotted into a secular publication. As The Plain Truth is a Christian publication I asked her to ‘up the faith bit’. She did so without over-egging it. Well done Evelyn.
Fiona’s Top Tips
by Evelyn Brown
It’s a drive of 230 miles from our home in Mid-Wales to my parents in Essex. Before each trip I say a prayer asking God for a safe journey. One Friday night my prayer was answered in a miraculous way. My husband, Phil, our border collie, Zak, and I were about 170 miles into our journey, on the M4 heading towards the M25. Phil was in the middle lane. Cars raced past us on the outer lane. There were lorries in the left-hand lane. I saw something on the road ahead, like a large kerb stone. ‘MIND!’ I blurted, too late.
Phil couldn’t swerve left or right. We hit the block of concrete with a sickening crunch. Phil drove on slowly, with smoke billowing from under the car. He took the exit lane to Slough, to the nearest garage which was closed. The RAC man said the car was a write-off and was amazed that we had been able to drive off the motorway. I firmly believe God was looking after us. The RAC man towed us to a graveyard for cars where Phil left his Montego MG, reluctantly. Then we were driven to Heathrow, and left at a huge car hire place.
We were refused a car as they had no offices in Mid-Wales for the return. A taxi driver came over: ‘I can drive you home for £300 cash, no cheques or credit cards.’ We only had twenty pounds, a cheque book and credit cards. We were standing there, at nine o’clock on a wintry night, with two suitcases and our border collie on his long red lead, his tail wagging, trying to attract the taxi driver to give him a pat and a cuddle.
I phoned Mum on my mobile phone and let her know the bad news. ‘The main thing is you’re both safe!’
‘Yes, if we had been thrown across into another lane we could have been killed! God was watching over us!’
‘Perhaps God has a reason for you to go back,’ Mum said. She suggested we find a hotel and catch a train home in the morning. Phil baulked at the idea. Would the RAC cover that, at London prices?
A young man with short black hair overheard me tell Phil I had forgotten my beta-blockers. ‘My Mum has those,’ he said. ‘I’m a chauffeur. I can take you home in my Mercedes for £250. Your medication is important.’
‘We don’t have cash.’
‘If you write me two cheques, they’ll be guaranteed.’
‘You don’t mind the dog?’
‘No, I don’t mind the dog. Let me phone my wife to let her know, then we’ll get going.’
We had the most comfortable ride we have ever had, in his luxury Mercedes.
Our driver told us his name was Sam and that he was from the Lebanon. He had come to Britain for a better life. It was one o’clock in the morning when we arrived home. He wanted to drive straight back but I urged him to rest in our spare bedroom for the night. He rose at six to set off back to London.
That morning our son phoned from Brecon to say he was about to go into hospital for an operation. God had indeed had a reason to bring us home early. We had been turned down by the car hire people and the taxi-driver, rather like the priest and the Levite in the Gospel of Luke (10:31–32) Sam, an immigrant, trusted us to meet the cost of the journey, so drove us home. The RAC refunded us. Sam was our modern day Good Samaritan.
< Contents
The Plain Truth is an independent charity.
© copyright 2004-2011 The Plain Truth.